This topic applies to more than just the Reset Early or Financial Independence movement, but really applies to all of life and at any age. I tend to find that being an American and being an independent woman, that we learn to use that independence as a way to think that we need to be strong emotionally, physically and financially all the time in order to maintain our independence. It’s simply not true. I ask you to ponder a question, “Do you like to help others?” I know for myself and most people the answer is yes. That helping of others tends to create a bond and also gives them the ability to more easily ask for help when they need it.
It took me moving to a country where I couldn’t do everything myself to really figure this out. I couldn’t call and make my own doctors’ appointments, I couldn’t see a doctor who only spoke Portuguese and expect to leave with what I needed, I could barely park my car by myself and may have had a breakdown early on attempting to go to the post office (took 3 post office locations to find one that was open and didn’t make me pay for parking to even make it inside to start the dreaded conversation, but probably better described as miming, to finally accomplish that task). But while I couldn’t do everything myself, I was better suited to help my coworkers and friends in things they needed, whether that be something related to speaking or email writing in English or bringing back goods from the US since goods were heavily taxed in the country.
Now with all this said, I’m not saying be the person who takes all the time, we don’t want another “Inventing Anna” or “Tinder Swindler” event going on, but like everything in life there is a balance and finding that balance can be difficult and sometimes you’ll lose friends if it sways too far one way, but if they were someone who took all the time, would you really want to continue to be friends with them?
So your challenge from me, as someone who finds myself to be independence, is to ask for help. It can be as simple as at the end of a rough day, asking a friend to bring over a bottle of wine and give you a hug.
Since I’ve done my early reset, I’ve also gotten into the situation where I have been able to help others, babysitting my niece, helping others clear out their closets or put up their Christmas decorations. All these things I found to be super rewarding because I know, I like to help others.